Monday, October 3, 2011

I Can See Perry Township From My House

During the mayoral primary back in May, Our Extraordinary Mayor for 89 Days, King Francis the Whisperer, Lord Sovereign of the Smear Campaign, had his minions, lackeys and loyalists attack his opponent, Third Ward Council Representative Kathy Catazaro-Perry, because she just wasn't "Massillon" enough.

She was an outsider. She graduated from (gasp) Perry High School.

One particular lackey criticized her fidelity to our beloved city because she went to church outside the corporate limits of the City of Massillon.

"Why does she go to St. Joan of Arc church. Is it really Massillon first with her?"

Yes, we learned two things from the primary.

Firstly, salvation may only be found within the corporate limits of the City of Massillon.

Secondly, Kathy Catazaro-Perry, who chose to live in our fair city, who was elected to council four times, wasn't really one of "us."

She was "anti-Massillon."



Our beloved mayor was resourceful.

Misguided, but resourceful.

He couldn't run on the real issues.

City finances are a wreck.

His sweetheart development deals were crashing all around him, as we learned that the Mayor's economic development "miracle" was propped up with our tax dollars, and was collapsing like a house of cards.

We didn't even know the Duncan Place Senior Housing project had crashed, and that the City Auditor was quietly paying the mortgage when the owner stopped.

We didn't learn about that one until after the primary.

The owner is still collecting the rents.

We are still paying the mortgage.

Sound familiar?

No, our Extraordinary Mayor could not campaign on the real issues.

So he decided to make the race about which candidate was "more Massillon."

He drew a "line in the sand" and implied that only our own god fearing native Massillonians should participate in city politics.

Of course, there were several exceptions.

The mayor's contributors, department heads, "citizen endorsers," ad agency, and wife were excused from the "Massillonians Only" rule.

While our mayor was a "native," Catazaro-Perry was portrayed as the outsider.

We can just imagine his rants;

"How can she run for mayor when her last name is Perry?"

Controlled by "carpetbaggers."

A foreigner within the castle walls.

Unfortunately for the Extraordinary One, his strategy failed.

The election was about the issues.

And our mayor lost.

But our mayor is no quitter.

According to numerous faithful readers, word on the street is our mayor and his crew are quietly supporting and advising Lee Brunckhart.

Now, if this is true, and we hope it isn't, but if it is, Lee Brunckhart better realize our mayor isn't helping him out of the goodness of his heart.

Apparently, Team Cicchinelli has a plan.

If the Democrats who voted for Cicchinelli vote for Lee Brunckhart, and if he takes the Republican vote, he wins.

The Extraordinary One just can't stand the thought of the "Third Ward Diva" sitting in his office.

His office.

It appears Mr. Brunckhart is adopting the strategy that has failed our mayor.

That Lee Brunckhart is "more Massillon" than Kathy Catazaro-Perry.

His signs have gone from green to orange.

Orange being a proper "Massillon" color.

And he has a new slogan on his signs and handouts;

"From Massillon. For Massillon. In Massillon."

"Someone" must have worked on that for weeks.

We are guessing that the inference is that his opponent, Kathy Catzaro-Perry, just isn't "Massillon enough" to be mayor.

Back to the "From Massillon. For Massillon. In Massillon."

We assigned our crack Massillon Review research team to find out if Kathy Catazaro-Perry is "From Massillon. For Massillon. In Massillon."

She appears to be "From Massillon," as by law, you can't run for Mayor of Massillon if you don't actually reside in the city. Our research team does have some doubt, as no one at the Elections Board would provide us with the long form version of her voter registration.

If she's running for Mayor, we must assume she is "For Massillon." Unless of course she is running to try and take our city down from the inside. But that doesn't make a lot of sense, as the current administration has successfully taken our city down from the inside. No need to do it twice.

As far as "In Massillon," it would appear, except for church naturally, that she must spend a good deal of time in our city. Her house is here. That must count for being in Massillon, right?

The city has real issues. Serious issues. That require serious people.

Arguing over which candidate is "more Massillon" is nothing more than escape from the reality of the seriousness of governing our city.

We deserve better.