Grassroots Support

Massillon's Extraordinary Mayor for Life, King Francis the Eternal, Lord Sovereign of the City held an extraordinary fundraiser this past Thursday.

Fine food, good entertainment, a nice crowd, and signs lovingly placed in front of the Massillon Knights of Columbus by Street Superintendent Mike Stevens greeted the adoring crowd of pro-Massillon, pro-Cicchinelli supporters.

By the Review's own estimates, a crowd which was about two-thirds carpetbaggers.

Yes, shockingly enough, our Extraordinary Mayor for Life was once again taking money from people who didn't live within the city walls.

So much for that 'line in the sand.'

It was good to see the movers and shakers. City workers who owe their jobs to the mayor, hotel investors who have the city pay their mortgage, Land speculators, who sold the city the land for the golf course expansion. Just regular folks out for a nice night and the opportunity to support their benefactor.

While it is well known that an unhealthy paranoia grips team Cicchinelli, it was nice for Massillon's First Lady for Life, Joy Cicchinelli, to put it on display for everyone to personally enjoy.

The Mrs. Extraordinary Mayor for Life gave a speech, explaining how the Independent newspaper was no friend of the Cicchinelli administration. She then encouraged the faithful to bust out their pens and paper, and scribble out letters of support for the extraordinary work our extraordinary mayor has performed for his City, and send them to the evil oligarchs controlling the anti-Cicchinelli propaganda machine by the box full.

We have already seen several of these grassroots 'letters to the editor' permeate our local paper. They weave a tale of a city that has only survived tough times because of the extraordinary work of one extraordinary man.

"I left town, but when I returned I saw theatres, restaurants, stores, and I thought to myself, Wow! Look at Massillon. I then dropped to my knees, and humbly gave thanks to the Extraordinary One, the Mayor for Life, and decided I would never again leave my hometown."

The problem the Extraordinary Mayor for Life, and the Joyful One have with the newspaper is that it is no longer the mayor's personal propaganda vehicle. Not so long ago, under former City Editor R.J. Villella, the paper dutifully reported whatever the mayor told it to report. It was Massillon's answer to Pravda.

As the paper has become less worshipful, and more impartial, the Cicchinellis have become increasingly unhappy, resorting to periodic 'boycotts' of the paper until they treat the Extraordinary One more fairly.

Like children who throw tantrums when they don't get their own way.

So now, we the residents of Massillon will have to endure three weeks of Cicchinelli worshipping, masquerading as unsolicited 'Letters to the Editor' in our local paper.

Our guess is the form and content will all read the same.

It will be as if the same person is writing letter after letter.

We imagine they will be 'extraordinary.'