3 Hours

Team Cicchinelli is celebrating New Year's Eve at Club Legends tonight, although the mood must be described as somber.

Hampton Inn owner, and Cicchinelli contributor, John Helline is lamenting the fact that it really wasn't his fault the city has to pay his mortgage, it was Osama Bin Laden's fault;

"Helline said the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, and the economic downturn that followed have harmed the travel industry" (The Independent, April 20, 2011).

Shh... Shh...

Our Mayor for 180 minutes is giving a speech;

"And I would still be your mayor if it wasn't for;

The Tiger Football Booster Club. They should have supported me stronger.

The people of Tuslaw. I was just annexing your schools. Why so angry?

Carpetbaggers. They are just anti-Cicchinelli.

The Independent newspaper. Even though they endorsed me for mayor, they actually have a secret anti-Cicchinelli agenda.

The golfers. Your overzealous behavior forced me to expand the course.

My employees.

My cousin.

The anti-Cicchinelli voters.

The people in this room.

Everyone, but me. I did everything right. It's all your fault."

(Spontaneous applause)